I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
