i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
