I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My breasts were aching with rage.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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