the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
is wine microwaveable?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
