HIV tests are more positive than that guy
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
