I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
