Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
