u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
