i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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