I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
