At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
