just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Pooping to opera.
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