hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
