I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
