I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
