I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
