Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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