just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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