watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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