True but thats because hes a fetus.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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