note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
