i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
