no, he came in my armpit
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
