He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
