Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
