im having a threesome with these popsicles
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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