Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
