drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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