you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
