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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
