is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
