drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
