Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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