u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
