the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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