The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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