She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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