you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
