Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
