I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
