I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
