I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
