i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
