she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
