She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
