I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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