Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
