btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
