I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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