this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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