and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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