sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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