didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
