I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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