Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
